The Dangers of Complaining

“He’s the worst! I hate that!”

Have you ever just hated the way someone does something? Ever felt like something just wasn’t fair? Maybe how someone always something in just the right way to rub you the wrong way?

If you answered no to any or all of these questions, you’re lying.

The sad truth of the matter is, we all complain. I think as a species, it’s somewhat ingrained in us to find something that just sucks about X Y and Z current situations.

Let me give you a short example. I once met someone who was nearly homeless (technically the government supplied a one-room apartment, but all he did there was sleep and that was all), was given a $100 stipend for the month to cover all food and expenses, was anorexic, had the most amazingly severe diabetes that I’ve ever seen (he was unable to shower because the sores on his legs were so bad that it would literally melt away his skin and would never grow back), had one set of clothing that, despite being extremely small, was still extremely baggy on his painfully thin frame, his sandals covered one of the biggest sores on his feet so that when he put them on and took them off the 3-inch patch of his skin came with it, leaving a gooey blob on both the sandal and his feet, he was missing all of his teeth, his big toes were so badly broken that they were literally bent underneath his other toes, forcing him to step on his toe every time he took a step, and he was legally blind.

Get the picture?

I ran into this man and was astounded at this plethora of problems and the depressing way he carried himself and was treated by those around him. There were times where I would go to check on him and wouldn’t see him for 5 days in a row because he was so physically weak from lack of food he couldn’t get out of bed. For 5 days.

I mention this man because despite all of these heartbreaking challenges, I never once heard him complain. Even when asking him directly about his situation, and asking him over and over what he needed and what we could do for him, he would actually, astonishingly say “Nothing! I don’t need anything.” After pressing him for weeks and doing what we could for him, he finally mentioned that he would really like some glasses so he could read, something he hadn’t been able to do for years. That was it.

I reflected on this experience and this topic earlier today when I passed some people in the hallway of my college talking about how “lame” their teacher and their grading system was and how “hard” it was to have class participation assigned a higher percentage than certain presentations were. I reflected on how I and my classmates (and probably every student ever everywhere) had expressed similar frustrations in our class.

It was then that I began musing to myself — what if we just didn’t complain about things? What a novel idea! What if, amidst all of these “challenges” and “strifes” of our first-world lives as I write this down on my new laptop I bought for my college education in a nice apartment with 5 other people and a healthy social life and good food every day riding a new bicycle to school and back, we stop to think about all of these for just a moment? What if we actually realize that 5 less points on an assignment, your employer at your steady job not giving you the assistant manager position that you weren’t really more qualified than anyone else to do, one of your many friends occasionally saying something you wouldn’t in their situation, being too busy with your girlfriend to go watch that movie you wanted to see the day it premiered, etc etc etc etc etc isn’t the end of the world, much less something to find reason to whine and complain about?

Keep your socks on — it’s crazy, I know. But I truly believe that if we can stop and think about our lives like this, just take a deep breath and “stop and smell the roses”, as it were, we will be so much happier and content about our lives. I have had the amazing opportunity to travel to some amazing places, and what strikes me about just about all of these places is that more often than not, the people with the fewest possessions and conveniences (thus, in our mindsets, the people with the most to complain about) are the most content and positive. Those who seem to have everything are frequently the most immature, whiny, narcissistic, and discontented people.

I know that social status and wealth doesn’t determine attitude and personality. But all I’m saying is, don’t let it — take your attitude in your own hands and get over yourself. That goes for all of us, and I’m certainly not excluded either.

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